In the wonder of my exclusivity I received an email from Office Depot exhorting me to virtually attend FREE Professional Training Seminars. This caused sarcastic thoughts to drip from my brain until it was like a tsunami zone in here. Are now to be trained for free by a file-folder manufacturer? Why is "Business Etiquette" so prominent? I can think of one or two reasons... Why are there three categories, yet the seminar titles seem to be the same, just shuffled?

"Business Etiquette --- Business etiquette goes far beyond not belching in the boardroom."

But farting is all right.

"Building Your First Webpage --- This course will teach you everything you need to know to build your first Web page with HTML and then post that page on a Web site for the entire world to see. Learn how to find the right tools, work with graphics and text to create a snappy, good-looking design, and avoid common pitfalls."

Well, this is very nice of them, to be sure. Just WHAT ARE the common pitfalls? Putting 800 animated GIFs on one page? I see that Office Depot also has an article about choosing the appropriate shredder for your needs. They certainly have my best interests at heart. Read on about the need for more shredders: Did you know that the FTC's Identity Theft Hotline is now receiving over 850 calls per week? Identity theft is becoming more common every day.

I would pay YOU to steal my identity -- my identity is THAT BAD. I think the appropriate shredder for me would be one big enough to fit into.