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10 October 2004


I'm a sucker for clouds, as I've said before. Today is very pretty. The day before yesterday, which was... uh... Friday, I suddenly, at 11 o'clock at night, got it into my head that I not only wanted to wash my windows, but that I would be able to wash my windows. I haven't washed my windows in many moons -- the last time they were washed was when M and Nash came over and did it. That was in this millenium, and possibly within the lifespan of a white rat, but long enough ago so that the windows have become extremely filthy: cloudy, cobwebbed, and streaked. Anyway, I washed the inside of the windows in my bedroom, then decided that was enough for the night. Yesterday I washed four more. I'm on a roll, now -- I will wash the outsides of the windows (filthier than the insides) SOON. Also, yesterday, I spent hours updating the school website (which it frosts my cookie not to be able to ftp). Today I did a whole lot of nit-picky cleaning in my kitchen. I seem to be feeling a little better, which I'm reacting to by wearing myself out. Yay!

Only news to me but better late than never: I had this sudden realisation that the condition called "colonialism" that I think of as a country imposing itself upon another country, has another facet. In fact, companies are colonising us. I have always wondered why people build such ugly things -- looking at ugly surroundings is brutalising -- why would you make your surrounding ugly? Then I was reading something about colonialism and I thought, "Yeah -- the colonising powers only create such ugliness because they don't have to live there." The companies that colonise us don't have to live here, either, so they can make any old ugly buildings they think will maximise their profits. They have no feeling of responsibility to us and we don't feel we have any power over them. I've always felt that we consumers are like a herd of cows the lousy companies call in (It's Christmas!) to be milked. This makes it clearer -- we're colonies. And maybe it's closer to some old sci-fi stories: the aliens come to earth to use the humans for their own purposes. Are we sure Mickey D's is not from outer space? Can we truly say that Walmart stores won't suddenly rise up and fly off to the mother ship? I wish.

A month or more ago I woke up and looked up at a giant house spider motionless on the wall above the window. I didn't feel anything, so I just went off to do my thing (I believe I had to go somewhere). It was gone when I got home, but I didn't care. I really DIDN'T CARE. Strange. Then a couple of weeks ago, I was downstairs doing laundry (very difficult for me unfortunately), and I looked up. I RECOGNISED the giant house spider standing on the wall in front of me as the one that'd been in my bedroom. He'd just wandered back downstairs (there's no door). Why do I feel sure I recognised him? I don't know -- he had the same expression on his face. Uh... He didn't look threatening at all -- just a bit uncomfortable and frightened. I really don't know what's wrong with me.

As we all know I like both There and Second Life. I read the forums for both, and both are afflicted by strange dopey forum posters who sound like they are 15 and say things like: "i dont understand why anyboddy goes to (virtual world) cause its totaly stupid it sux and (other virtual world) is so much better it ha X and Y and the other one doesn't have that an anyway the ppl are meen and you arer all stupid becase you like go to (virtual world)" Or sometimes it's in caps: U R STOOPID BECASE U LIK TO GO TO THAT PLACE However, those posts are a tiny percentage. There is a rivalry of some kind (why? I have no clue as the worlds are entirely different). It's that same old thing that's always annoyed me -- that people say X is the best or the worst -- ignoring the fact that we have various interests, needs, and desires, and that their subjective "best" might be my "worst." And variety is the spice of life. But not to them.

posted by - 3:11 PM


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I want to ask for thoughts about improving the world -- what do people need? How can things be organised?