I'm not very social, either in Second Life or in the ordinary world around me, and I was trying to figure out how I feel about things. For instance:
1. There are some people I like a lot. I don't necessarily have to ever see them, but I like seeing them. Enjah is one - she puts up with me. Salazar is another. Olmy, too. Sprite. Psi. RacerX. Pirate. Well actually there's a long list.
2. There are some people in Second Life who, in some way, fill an otherwise-vacant niche, making the community complete. I don't care if I ever talk to those people, really, but I just want them to be there, somewhere. Torley is one, because she knits up the huge group of people into a community. Everyone knows her, so we all have something in common. I think some others are Brace, Cubey, Olympia, Eddie, Merwan, RacerX, Starax, YadNi - I can't think of everyone. These are the people who, if I heard they were leaving for some reason, would leave me with a feeling that a chunk was missing. I think it has to do with creativity and style, as much as anything.
In real life I try to frankly say what I think, so Alex says, "I don't want to be a burdon," and I tell him, "No! You know I adore you!" That makes him smile. I have been consciously steering what I say by an inner compass, which at times has results I couldn't've predicted. Like deciding I'd been out of line when chiding a student about something, and finding him and apologising a day or two later - only to have him, a kid with a long history of bad deeds, follow me (figuratively speaking) everywhere after that with shining devotion. I think I'm well aware of my own short-comings, but I'm all I have to work on, so if I write "I I I I I" it's not because I think I'm great, but just because I don't have any other way to talk about my experiences and figure out what they mean.
I'm just ruminating - haven't actually formed any real ideas.
Did my laundry, found $20 in a pair of trousers (w00t), didn't really eat breakfast for some reason, have a load of school work sitting on the table waiting for me, noticed a most beautiful cobweb outside that is a work of spidery art, left my jump drive at school :( , changed the notecard-giver in the gallery from an art deco to an art nouveau frame, talked to my beloved haircutter Sean who asked if my appointment could be moved ("For you, darling, ANYTHING!).
posted by - 11:13 AM