I've collected shopping lists for about... hmmm... 20 years. Not my own, of course, but the crumpled, scrawled-upon bit of notepad or envelope someone discarded in a shopping cart or dropped in the grocery store parking lot. The highlight of my shopping list collecting was once, about 10 years ago, sitting around a bonfire with an artist friend, her husband, and the dood with whom I was co-habiting then. I read my shopping lists as though they were poetry, and had that crowd rolling on the ground shrieking with laughter.

Fast forward to now, when I can't really deal with objects anymore. I have stopped actively collecting lists, aside from a few here and there that mostly arive in the post. Instead, I think I'll start collecting horrible grocery bag juxtapositions. I fling things in the car, then fling them into the house (quite literally), so it can be annoying when I open a bag and find it contains, as one from Slaveways did last week, in its entirety:
1 6-pack, club soda
1 bag Doritos

Today I had this mighty combo, the entire contents of a Slaveways bag:
2.5 lbs Bing cherries
Half gallon organic milk

I have a very short mental collection of screamingly funny radio news lines:
"The trial continued in the absence of his presence."
and
"The house was gutted on the inside."

I heard another one the other day, but forgot it, for some reason. However, two is plenty. I don't want to be greedy.