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12 April 2010

I was just reading "The Death of Mo Hax," which explains that because he succumbed to temptation he destroyed his family, and while he wishes he could go back to the love of his wife and children he isn't able to.

"I still believe technology is amoral, but the traps of immersion and lures of anonymity combined with even normal marital strain are almost guaranteed to bring even the best spouses down in sorrow."

I know I'm not the only person in SL to have never had the least thought of pretending to be anything other than what I am. I have a need to be known for what I am, and understood at least in part, however dopey I am. Playing games would be counterproductive. Maybe his particular failing didn't involve disguising himself, but taking the statement, I see nothing in the anonymity of the web that appeals to me, and "immersion" counts for nothing if I leave myself outside the portal.

posted by - 11:54 PM

Great feedback. I wish you copied the entire story. Personal issues manifests itself in any available outlet. For Mo Hax, he allow himself to let it turn into RL cheating, not only virtual. It was probably destined to happen had other available outlets presented itself.

Looks like he is still owner in his company, Edtech Retreat LLC. Is he really gone?
Death of Mo Hax

My grand three year experiment in Second Life is over.

I have long wondered if the overall benefit of social media and Second Life would outweigh the negatives. For me personally, one big negative, my own fall to virtual and later very real adultery, was never worth any amount of positive I experienced. I would trade it all to have the love of my children and wife back. It is too late for me.

Don’t be me. Don’t be Mo.

Don’t share your hopes, dreams and problems with others because they are available and willing to help you. Take the harder route and work it through or move on before you bring life-altering pain and suffering to those you love or have loved most.

It’s not the technology, it’s the person.

I still believe technology is amoral, but the traps of immersion and lures of anonymity combined with even normal marital strain are almost guaranteed to bring even the best spouses down in sorrow. I watched it more than a dozen times while in SL. I found every form of rationalization, many of which are blogged here. In the end, the very power of virtual worlds destroyed me, quite literally, and in both real and virtual spaces.

Be warned.

What does it matter if a man do many amazing things in life and yet loses his family? Don’t be me. Take stalk of what you have. Leave the damn screen. Go on a date. Swing. Love. Care for those locked behind protective screens and hospital beds. There is so much more good in the world to be done than expressing our creativity in a fantasy world. I seriously contemplated destroying this blog but paused and decided against it so others might learn from my mistakes along the way, and ultimately the biggest one of all. Our education system desperately needs to include ethical elements of digital citizenship, maybe that would help, but mostly, we all just need a big dose of reality.

I won’t deceive any longer.

I just want my wife and children back.

Update: Mo Hax found true love with a woman who appreciates him for all he is. We are very happy and I feel very lucky to call him my husband.

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