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20 August 2013


I'm trying to figure out what combination of things gives me the best and worst experience as lately the worst has been pretty bad. Just taking the past few days, on Sunday I had a Safeway delivery because I had run out of salad, liquids, and needed ibuprofen. I can't cook much anymore (cooking to mean doing any food assembly) and not reliably, so decided to get nuts for a portable, immediate, non-fridge foodstuff. There were no one hour windows that were suitable for delivery so I specified 11-1. Usually they are close to the beginning of the time so I was ready and waiting at 11.

At 12:50 the driver rang and said he'd be late. I think he arrived at about 1:30, delayed in part by a wedding down the street that had blocked things due to raggedy-ass parking. I had kept the a/c off as the driver wouldn't be able to hear me say Come In if the middle door was closed. I was starting to get seriously worn out and the day's warmth was rising, so I did the best I could which was with great difficulty put the freezer things away, then lie down without being able to put the fan or a/c on. After a while I put the fridge things away. I wound up very hot (this fever is low but debilitating) and got stuck for 5.5 hours.  Wapped my ankle and bled all over the carpet again.

On Monday I could hardly move and just did nothing as nothing was possible, but hoped Tuesday would be better. Today is Tuesday and I am indeed better, did my morning best-practises routine which includes drinking a lot of very cold liquid as that helps to keep the fever down. I had a shower and whatnot, and am trying to slowly clean up various parts of the house that need it as I have visitors on Wed and Thursday.

Being so mightily ill is like having a terrible 24 hour job that is stupid, unfulfilling, unavoidable, and wipes out the possibility of doing anything else. And it's forever. Thanks, kismet. Still, things could be worse: I could be under the control of someone or something, or have to be around people. I am stubbornly making my way as best I can and that is as good as it can be for me; anyone reading this has to understand that there is a huge downside to undesired "help" although I understand it may be difficult for others to know the difference between undesired and desired help. Just rest assured that whatever you are like I am not like you so don't think you know what I want.

So I think that at the moment if I can be somewhat sensible about trying to avoid becoming depleted (make delivery time early and one hour only, turn on a/c before it's needed if I think i may be in for a tough time) and manage to do a morning routine that tries to minimise fever I'll be better off, but need to expect at least a day downtime if I get depleted.

posted by - 11:38 AM

Your coping skills are excellent, and the plan sounds like it makes sense. Please let us OTHERS know what help you DO desire!
Don't be silly El N. She needs a flying car. Period.

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