Well, I certainly felt terrible enough with just the neurological impairment and the hepatitis c, then started to feel 100 times worse with cancer, much worse with the warm weather, and now 100 additional times worse with the tamoxifen, which I'm not even sure why I'm taking. One of the worst parts is that I've been unable to move for long stretches of the day and so have lost the tiny gains I had laboriously garnered through physical therapy.
I cannot even tell you how hard it was doing physical therapy, but obviously being able to move just a tiny bit is a prerequisite for doing it at all. I am trying not to beat myself up about not being able to do it as it wasn't through choice. Still, we all know how stubbornly I refuse to concede defeat, so even though things are hideously bad I am once again attempting to do the impossible. If I have to start at one I will. Actually I started at five of a few of the PT exercises, and I'm trying to figure out what I can do if I can barely move. Pathetic? Heroic? When the arrows come so thickly they blot out the sun you must fight in the shade.
I can't rely on doing a routine; I need to be more versatile and have a roster of exercises from which to draw a few I can do at that moment. My best time is morning and then after 10pm. I've been loathe to use up all my energy (such as it is) right off the bat however I will have to.
*Mission Impossible theme starts up in the background*