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19 October 2013


My life has reached a weird but absurdly funny plateau that in my trusting moments I can enjoy a bit, but which mostly would seem awful looked at from outside.
My willmaking activities have run off the rails and I'm having to begin from scratch. I have found a nice notary but that's it so far.
My doctor letter is sitting in my mailbox this past week, but eventually I'll get it.
Yesterday I got stuck being unable to move on the bed with the lights out, which sucked. After a while I could get up, though. The weakness is X 100 when my core temperature is just a bit raised, which I'm countering with icy seltzer, ice fruit bars, ibuprofen, keeping the house icy cold, and medical mj. If I get cold I'm more spastic and can't move my arms, so the medical mj helps with that. It isn't that I don't feel cold - it's like slow torture having to be cold forever, but better cold than weak. It's also like a very touchy and difficult mechanism which is akin to defusing a bomb every day. It's very neat to defuse it, and the task is always absorbing, but it sucks when it goes awry.
SWMNBMIMB told me I am her role model for kindness, which I find crazy as I don't find myself particularly kind and I don't think I'm generous although I try.
I knew I had cancer a while ago as I suddenly saw the same red-rimmed eyes that my mum had when she had it. I look worse and worse these days, which is comical. Comical to me, anyway.

posted by - 10:31 AM

I have always found you kind, generous and gracious. Not sickly sweet so. Just naturally so in a balanced pleasant way. I think folks that are not that naturally always notice it when they do things that would fall under those categories, as it is a glaring contrast to their norm. Those that do those things naturally don’t pay them any more mind then they do breathing or feeling the blood pump through their arteries. You hit the mix just right.
well said, Justin. even in second life, people were drawn to osprey and became devoted to her, iit's fascinating that the personality can shine through so strongly in an avatar.

my neighbor who has MSA sometimes goes into total body lock-up and she can't move at all. she has music with a beat that somehow comes on and brings her out of it, or so she told me!
... What they said!

Even in your extreme situation you remain thoughtful and considerate. I would be cranky as hell.
I'm the same way I do my best to remain neutral. It's hard if you communicate with the person the other person dislikes then you fall out of favor with them! I simple can't dislike a person just because someone else does I just can't.
in children


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