I, of Newt

Well, salamander, actually. Years ago (five?) my pal SWMNBMIMB was over and, upon opening the door to the cupboard under the sink, was startled when a salamander popped out. She trod on it and I don't remember what else happened.

A couple of weeks ago I was coming through into the kitchen and saw something on the floor. A stealthy salamander about, oh, six inches long zipped down the hall when it saw/heard/felt my vibrations. I didn't want anything to happen to it, but there wasn't much I could do; anyway it disappeared. It turned up, like that white-footed mouse of yesteryear, flashing across my periferal vision every so often as it tried to do... uh, something. Something that involves running about on the carpet in the living room.

Today it was lurking about the kitchen, and since I suspected had accidentally got out from under the sink and was unable to get back to its ancestral home, I sidled in and opened the cupboard door. I made a ramp and went out to buy feckin' groceries (jF I just bought groceries three or four weeks ago - where's my Food Pill???). It was still around when I returned, thundering about on the carpet whilst looking nervous. I should add that while I was making the ramp I was talking* to it in case it understood (I'm sure it doesn't, however it was no effort).

This is another ridiculous construct like my no-kill attempt to sequester my little white-footed friend (so I could set him outside and not have 45677 billion small brown doddles everywhere and so he'd be happier). *shakes fist* Although it didn't work he left and the house was reroofed closing, presumably, the chinks, as he has never returned. This all relates to the appearance recently of a carpenter assessing the deck rot damage (and it's been rotting for quite a while - the Comcast man (one of several, actually) almost fell through in 2004).

The carpenter, one of those whippy woodworkers of Scandinavian descent common around these parts, said this type of building method is not used now - the beams run through this house, stick out, and form the deck supports. When the beams rot they damage the entire house to a greater or lesser degree depending upon how quickly the houseowner gets on the ball. I asked about the injection of epoxy resin into rotted beams, but he said that was a possibility only for nonstructural elements.

Nope, haven't seen the carpenter back, yet. And that concludes the story of my new pet.

* "I'm making you a ramp. If you go up the ramp you can get under the sink again."